Teams of The Tournament

Our teams of the tournament and the winners and losers of the RBS 6 Nations 2010, as compiled by the whole Scottish Rugby Blog team in our “infinite” and possibly blinkered wisdom…

Scottish Rugby Blog 2010 Six Nations XV

15. Clement Poitrenaud (Fra) – watching him cut loose against Italy was like a breath of fresh (garlicky) air.
14. Tommy Bowe (Ire) – still finishing clinically and cutting great lines when so many of his Lions companions have lost the spark of 2009.
13. Mathieu Bastareaud (Fra) – James Hook is denied after being steamrolled by John Barclay and the fact he’s not 17 stone of pure anger. William Gallas’s cousin may look a bit like a cat and have some psychological issues of his own but in a game of giants he still manages to bring an x-factor.
12. Graeme Morrison (Sco) – every team needs somebody to do the dirty work and after an improvement from god-awful to decent, who knows how far he can go now. Has finally stopped looking lost while carrying the ball.
11. Shane Williams (Wal) – I feel dirty.  He’s small, odious and broke my heart.  Hope his next poo is a hedgehog.  Good tournament though.
10. Dan Parks (Sco) – he won three Man of the Match awards and some of his kicking was actually (gulp) world class. Okay, so Trinh Duc won a Grand Slam, but he didn’t get the Irish to boo a kicker. Groundbreaking!
9. Morgan Parra (Fra) – a throwback retro French kicking scrum half who made Les Bleus tick.
8. Imanol Harinordoquy (Fra) – class from first game until last, led his team to a (just) deserved Grand Slam and was the standout 8 in the tournament.  Quick shout to Beattie who was part of the best back row unit and if looking to pick a team to play rather than individuals he would surely get the nod.
7. John Barclay (Sco) – busting tackles, scoring tries, pinching lineouts, throwing himself around the park and giving team talks and only 23. Surely a future captain.
6. Kelly Brown (Sco) – a few people bemoaned the loss of Stroker going into the first game but after some serious trucking and shackling the Oscar-the-Grouch doppleganger even recovered from a head knock to quiet Ireland’s own destroyer, Ferris.
5. Al Kellock (Sc0) – just keeps getting better and has taken his Glasgow form into the international arena.  Provided leadership to the pack when required.
4. Jim Hamilton (Sco) – France’s Nallet was close but Hamilton was much improved in the test arena and for that gets the nod.  Part of  a pack that abused the Irish on the last weekend and was mobile going forward.
3.  Nicolas Mas (Fra) – starting off the French clean sweep in the front row, no-one could look past this man: in reality there were no other contenders.
2. William Servat (Fra) – probably the angriest man in the tournament until Euan Murray took his hat off, the Toulouse stalwart ran the scrum and made short and ugly work of every close encounter. Not as handsome as Szarzewski, though!
1. Thomas Domingo (Fra) – The little man with the mullet proved that he could out-scrummage all-comers and dealt Dan Cole a hiding in the ultimate match. Always offered a run, too.

Never content with being positive, we have also compiled a Worst of the Six Nations XV, whether for moments of individual madness or for sustained ineptitude:

Scottish Rugby Blog Big Pile of Rubbish XV

15. Delon Armitage (Eng) – guilty of not being Ben Foden… and offering no cutting edge/no kicking options. Lee Byrne came close for his contributions to underwater exploration.
14. Simon Danielli (Sco) – will not be taken seriously or commended for winning last minute winning penalties till he cuts his hair.
13. Mathew Tait (Eng) – not very good and most of the other folk playing 13 were okay so he gets the nod.  In fairness he is good at running sideways.
12. Riki Flutey (Eng) – capable of brilliance and carved up last years 6N and the final Lions Test. Failed to step anyone, smash anyone, or create any space this time. He’s good at guitar, though, so there you go…
11. Shane Williams (Wal) – I feel not so dirty.  He’s small, odious and broke my heart.  Still hope his next poo is a hedgehog.
10. Johnny Wilkinson (Eng) –  Martin Johnson is planning to run to the airport, bang on the window and tenderly stroke Danny Cipriani’s face begging him not to go to Melbourne (this tactic would be more effective if he got Kelly Brook to do it).
9. Tito Tebaldi (Ita) – each time Canavosio replaced him, usually at half time, he scored a great try. When the reverse happened, Wales scored three.
8. Andy Powell (Wal) – for that surge down the wing. Of the M4. In a golf cart.
7. Lewis Moody (Eng) or Mauro Bergamasco (Ita) – none of the 7’s stood out as particularly bad so it’s a toss up between these two.  This is the Scottish Rugby Blog so who do you think we chose?
6. Joe Worsley (Eng) – brought in to slow Scotland down and while he was largely successful, it was the embodiment of England throughout the tournament – negative, slow and focussed on stopping people from playing. Plus he looks like a melted action man.
5. Steve Borthwick (Eng) – England play their game of the tournament, when he wasn’t there. Simple.
4. Alun Wyn Jones (Wal) – a slide tackle? Really?! Got little chance to prove himself after this because of injury, but one so talented can’t deliver so little.
3. John Hayes (Ire) – a bit harsh when his record is taken into account but when put alongside a sprightly Cian Healy, and getting out-scrummaged by…well most, the man has gotten pretty lucky in his 100 caps.
2. Scott Lawson (Sco) – two late appearances against Wales and England, two game changing penalties. Flannery ran him close, mind.
1. Tim Payne (Eng) – the only man to do less than Borthwick… how many scrums has this man ruined?

Winners and Losers:

Winners: Marc Lievremont and his (semi-) settled France squad, defences, the Scotland back-row, the Georgian Rugby team, the GAA, 100 Cap Club (John Hayes, Chris Paterson, Brian O’ Driscoll)

Losers: Warren Gatland’s PR man, anyone involved in a scrum, Rob Andrew and Martin Johnson, 25,000 Irish Rugby fans, anyone who has to listen to Jonathan ‘Wee Shit’ Davies, almost all the referees and and in particular George Clancy and his lack of knowledge of even the most basic of rules.

Our more general round up is coming soon. In the meantime, feel free to argue in the comments section!

3 comments on “Teams of The Tournament

  1. giorgia on

    > 14. Simon Danielli (Sco) – will not be taken seriously or commended for winning last minute winning penalties till he cuts his hair.

    My thoughts exactly. After Ita v Sco he walked out of the stadium in a total-Fendi look and of course with his hideous hairdo. My camera and I refused to take a pic of him — I mean, he looked like someone off the Jersey Shore cast. Eww.

    (luckily enough, after a few minutes the adorable Euan Murray walked out of the same gate, too, and my camera and I were more than happy to take a pic of him –> http://www.flickr.com/photos/ies_ui_chen__2008/4393464646/ :))

  2. Geoff on

    As and Englishman, currently in Portugal, I have been able to view Scotland in a more positive frame of mind. Scotland have been sooooooo unlucky and have played some of the best rugby of this 6N and I really did not want to see them get the wooden spoon – which really does belong to Italy. Andy Robinson certainly has inspired the squad and I trust that Scotland will gain in strength.

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